Advice & Information
DRUGS & ALCOHOL
Drinking alcohol is something most adults do to unwind or mark a celebration. When used sensibly and in moderation ‘having a drink’ is an enjoyable way to socialise and relax, but alcohol is a powerful drug and when taken in large amounts or over a long period of time it can damage our bodies and have negative affects on other aspects of life like relationships, study, work. That is one reason why it is illegal to drink in the UK until the age of 18.
It is helpful to be well informed not just on how alcohol works and how to it affects our bodies, but also to access advice and support if we feel under pressure to drink before the legal age limit or if someone we care about is drinking too much. There are many charities and agencies listed below that can provide this.
Alcohol is a recreational drug, like all drugs it can be dangerous when used irresponsibly, but it is legal. There are many recreational drugs which are not legal because the effects of taking them are considered to be too dangerous, such drugs include: cannabis, skunk, ketamine, cocaine, heroin etc. Using these drugs can damage physical and mental health, lead to addiction, bring about financial demands and debt, damage study, employment, and relationships. If you or somebody you care about are using drugs you need to understand the implications of doing so and think carefully about stopping.
There are many charities and agencies that are there to help, including:
www.talktofrank.com – extensive information and advice on drugs and alcohol
www.fixers.org.uk – website for young people at risk of alcohol and drugs misuse
http://www.childline.org.uk/Explore/DamagingYourself/Pages/DamagingYourself.aspx – information and resources on drugs and alcohol
www.starsnationalinitiative.org.uk – website for children, young people, and families affected by parental drugs and alcohol misuse
www.al-anonuk.org.uk – useful website for teenage relatives and friends of alcoholics
www.youngcarers.net – follow the links on the website to ‘I care for someone who uses drink or drugs’
www.edp.org.uk – edp works with people in Devon and Dorset, who have or have been affected by drug or alcohol problems.
www.edasuk.org/which-area-do-you-live-in/dorset/shadows/ – confidential and non-judgemental service for under 18s misusing drugs or alcohol.
https://www.youtube.com/user/TALKTOFRANK – educational videos from Talk To Frank about a number of drugs
BULLYING
Bullying can happen to anyone. It is the attempt through words, actions or even inactions (leaving somebody out) to de-value and frighten a person or group of people. Bullying can happen for lots of reasons e.g. they way somebody looks, where a person is from. But the main reason does not lie with the person being bullied, but with the bully or bullies.
Bullies often don’t value themselves much. They make themselves feel poweful and attempt to stop themselves from being bullied by picking on someone who is different. By making a person or group of people ‘different and not normal’ a bully creates and is part of a group who is ‘normal’, and it that group feels safe and in control. Bullying can and should be stopped. Speaking to a family member, teacher, Treads advisor, or contacting one of the charities listed below can help you end bullying and prevent it happening again. Getting help and support can also help build up confidence and self esteem that are badly affected after bullying of any type.
Cyber bullying is a relatively new type of bullying that is particulalry damaging because it can occur 24-7 and involves hundreds of individuals that may not even know the person they are bulliyng. The added distress of having private information and pictures posted online makes cyber bullying a dangerous weapon that can undermine a person’s reputation and respect. If you or someone else is a victim of cyber bullying it is very important that you tell a family member, teacher, youth worker, Treads advisor, or by contacting an advisor from one of the charities listed below.
Bullying is abusive because it is an attempt to harm, offend, or misuse another person. Other forms of abuse that you may of heard of are physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. It is not always easy for a person to recognise that they are being abused and this combined with a warning by the abuser to keep things secret, can make speaking about their experiences and getting help really difficult. It is important to remember that no-one has the right to hurt you and make you do things that feel wrong. There are many charities and agencies with free confidential helplines that can provide advice, help, and support to individuals even if they don’t want to give their name or address. By following the links below you can find out more about forms of abuse and how to make it stop.
Websites:
www.childline.org.uk/Explore/Bullying/Pages/Bullyinginfo.aspx – excellent website containing information and advice on bullying and cyberbullying
www.bullying.co.uk – for help and information on all types of bullying
www.stopcyberbullying.org – focusing on cyber bullying
www.nspcc.org.uk – information on abuse and bullying
DEBT, FINANCE & BENEFITS
Over the last year or two the United Kingdom has been struggling with a credit crunch and recession. The effects of these has meant that there is less money for the government to spend money on public services e.g. libraries, hospitals etc. and that people who have been employed in such services are being paid less or have lost their job. When people are paid less or lose jobs they don’t have as much money to spend in shops which means shopkeepers and businessess have put prices up to cover losses, cut staff pay, or make staff redundent. In addition to this, banks have also been affected by the recession which means they have less money to lend customers through loans. During difficult times like these some adults fall into debt, which can be made worse if money is then borrowed from dishonest loan companies to pay off the original sum.
It is no suprise that because of the credit crunch and recession lots of adults and many parents / carers feel under pressure about jobs and money. We know that pressure and anxiety can make people feel sad, grumpy, argumentative and it may be that this is happening in your home. If so there are things that can be done to make the situation better. Firstly, don’t ask your parents/carers for things that you want but don’t really need, like the latest phone when your old one works fine. If there is something you really want try earning the money to buy it yourself, do chores around the house or if you are over 16 and your parents agree, try finding a part time job. Secondly, be careful about what you throw away, maybe some things can be repaired or swaped with a friend. Better still recycle them at a local charity shop, someone may be really happy with your old teddy and the charity shop will be grateful for the money raised.
There are other ways to recieve help with money worries, such as advice with budgeting and paying off debts. Such help is usually targeted at adults but it is important that you know about them too. Then if you know an adult struggling with money worries you may be able to tell them about some of the specialised charities and agencies listed below.
www.adviceguide.org.uk – follow links to ‘Debt and Money’, then ‘Young People’ – money and consumer rights
www.barclaysmoneyskills.com – informative website covering all issues to do with saving and finance
www.direct.gov.uk/en/youngpeople/money/index.htm – informative website covering all issues to do with money, debt, benefits
www.firstdorsetcreditunion.co.uk – local financial charity based at Treads office, provids advice on saving, debt, and loans
www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk – helping people manage their money at any stage in their lives, they also offer unbiased advice
HOME & FAMILY
All families are different and no family is ‘normal’ or ‘perfect’. In every family there will be stresses and strains and these can sometimes lead to arguments and falling outs. Usually problems can be resolved by talking over the issues within the family, making up and moving on, but there are times when it may not be so easy to do this. Perhaps your parents are fighting, or you are struggling to get on with somone at home. It may even be the case that someone is being hurt at home and you have been told not to say anything.
There are many ways get help when things at home may be causing you to feel scared, worried or unsettled. A first step would be to speak to someone confidentially about your concerns – maybe here at Treads, at school or at another youth charity, or if this feels too much try looking at the websites below to find out more about the kinds of problems that go on in families and how things can be made better with help and support.
www.relatedorset.co.uk – helping families and couples resolve conflict and stay together
www.mosaicfamilysupport.org.uk – Dorset based charity supporting young people and families who have been affected by the death of someone close
www.rd4u.org.uk – supporting young people after the death of someone close.
www.thehideout.org.uk – website created by www.womensaid.org.uk to help children and young people understand Domestic Violence and what to do if it is happening in your home.
www.rerun.org – Dorset based charity for young people who have or are considering running away from home.
www.childline.org.uk – fantastic website for young people includes lots of help and advice on issues around home and family. Well worth taking a look at.
www.actionforchildren.org.uk – advice and help on all kinds of issues. This is a good link for young carers.
HOUSING & HOMELESSNESS
Homelessness means not having a secure home, it isn’t just applied to someone sleeping rough on the streets, an individual or family can be homeless if they are temporarily staying with friends or family (sofa surfing), about to be evicted, living somewhere unsafe and unsuitable, or staying in a crisis shelter or refuge.
Every year thousands of young people run away from home. Each young person will have their own reason for doing so: arguments with family members, violence within the family, sexual or physical abuse, pregnancy, problems at school, and each young person will put themselves at risk of harm by running away. Running away isn’t usually planned which means that important things like money, warm clothing, phone numbers, or having an idea of safe places to go are forgotten about. This can put a young person at real risk of having to sleep on the streets where serious threats of abuse and violent attack are faced alongside cold and hunger, having no where to wash, or store belongings safely. Further risks are taken staying with people you don’t really know, or who you feel unsafe with.
In spite of these risks, for some young people running away from home seems the only way to stay safe. It isn’t. There are many agencies and charities that can help you find other solutions that you may not even know exist. Before running away please speak to a trusted family member, teacher, youth worker or Treads advisor, about your worries and problems. If you do not feel able to do this contact one of the charities listed below, all have confidential helplines that can provide a listening ear and good advice about keeping safe.
If you or your family have housing difficulties and/or are facing homelessness, please contact Treads for advice and information. Treads have links with Dorset Shelter and can arrange appointments with a Shelter advisor in our Blandford office. Alternatively take a look at some of the Housing and Homelessness websites listed below.
www.rerundorset.org – Award winning local charity supporting young runaways and those thinking of running away from home.
www.hyped.org.uk – Hyped is a local charity providing advice, support, and accomodation for homeless young people in Dorset and Oxford.
www.missingpeople.org.uk – Runs the Runaway Helpine a free and confidential service offering help and advice for runaways.
www.childline.org.uk – A good website covering homelessness and related issues
www.ymca.org.uk – A national charity with local outreach providing accomodation and support for homeless young people.
www.shelter.org.uk – A detailed website providing up to date advice on homelessness and housing rights. Follow the links to the young persons page for clear information about young people, homelessness, what to do and what the law states.
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LEGAL ADVICE & SUPPORT
Getting legal advice can be a very big step and there are special rules for those under 18. There are a number of organisation that can help young people but if you’re not sure what sort of help you need then come in and talk to us and we’ll help you figure it out.
http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/ – free legal information, advice and representation to children, young people, their families, carers and professionals, as well as international consultancy on child law and children’s rights
http://www.lawstuff.org.uk/ – legal information for young people
www.nyas.net – National Youth Advocacy Service provide support to children, young people and vulnerable adults
www.lawsociety.org.uk – for help finding a solicitor and general information
www.mediationdorset.co.uk – Mediation Dorset provide a conflict resolution service helping people who are in dispute work together to solve their problems
PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL & MENTAL HEALTH
As a teenager your body and mind are growing at a rapid rate and so it’s very important that during this time you take care to look after both. Taking exercise, eating regular and healthy meals, rehydrating, talking over worries rather than bottling them in, and sleeping between 6-8 hours a night all help to keep us healthy, happy, and work better.
For some young people coping with their own or a family member’s physical or mental health difficulty is a part of life but not one that should be faced alone. Around 1 in 12 young people are carers for an ill or disabled family member, whilst 1 in 10 young people will recieve counselling or other type of therapy to help heal an emotional or mental health difficulty (it is suspected that more young people would benefit from counselling but are chosing to bottle problems inside often resulting in depression, self harm, eating disorders or abuse of drink and drugs).
There are many charities you can talk to confidentially about getting the right kind of help and support if you are a carer or are struggling with ill health, some of these charities are listed and linked below.
www.gosh.nhs.org – Produced by Great Ormond Street Hospital to give advice and information on stays in hospital, medical conditions and illnesses
www.teenagehealthfreak.org – general information on young peoples health issues
www.youngminds.org.uk – information and advice for young people on emotional and mental health
www.youngcarers.net – information and advice for young people caring for family members
www.autism.org.uk – very helpful information about ASD (Autism and Asperges)
www.teenagercancertrust.org.uk – advice for young cancer sufferers
www.ndcs.org.uk – National Deaf Children’s Society
www.b-eat.co.uk – very helpful advice and information on eating disorders
www.samaritans.org.uk – website enabling emergency counselling via email, telephone, face to face or letter
www.ocdaction.co.uk – advice and information for suffers of obsessive compulsive disorder sufferers and their families
www.quit.org.uk – advice and information for stopping smoking
RELATIONSHIPS,SEXUAL HEALTH & PREGNANCY
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Relationships are vital and we all need them. Through our relationships with family members we begin to understand who we are and realise the kind of person we want to be. Relationships can be good and bad and it’s important for our happiness and safety that we work out which is which.
Romantic and sexual relationships can feel like the most intense, exciting and scary relationships of all. In these we want to look just right, to say the right things, to laugh at the right times, to do whatever makes the other person happy. But if doing so means that we start to take risks, feel unsafe and / or unhappy then the relationship needs thinking about.
When a relationship becomes sexual it must be at a time when both feel ready and neither feel pressured. Contraception, protection, and the age of consent need to be considered before you have sex. What is also important to remember is that having sex involves more than the body, it involves mind and heart as well, consequently all can be hurt if used carelessly.
Becoming pregnant, whether planned or unplanned, can be very scary but there is help and advice out there to help you make a considered decision about what to do. You should never feel that you are on your own; confidential, professional and ongoing support is there via your GP, sexual health clinic, school nurse, or Treads.
Talking over relationship worries with your boyfriend/girlfriend, a trusted friend or teacher, a family member, or an advisor from one of the charities listed below may help you to resolve difficulties and keep a good relationship on track.
www.nhs.uk/livewell/sexandyoungpeople – very helpful advice about looking after your sexual health
www.careconfidential.com – free and confidential counselling support help and advice if you are facing unplanned pregnancy or post abortion concerns.
www.fpa.org.uk – advice, information and support on sex, sexual health, contraception, unplanned pregnancy, and relationships.
www.spaceyouthproject.co.uk – for young Lesbian, Gay, Bisxeual, Transgendered and questioning people in Dorset.
www.youngstonewall.org.uk – site for all young people to find out about issues affecting lebian, gay and bisexual people at home, work or at school.
www.childline.org.uk – general advice site includes good section on relationships and sexuality
EMPLOYMENT, TRAINING, SCHOOL &
COLLEGE
The years at school and college are supposedly the happiest of our lives but that isn’t always the case. Struggling with learning, pressure to succeed, exam stress, bullying, feeling unsettled or lonely can stop us from achieving our potential and may even affect our attendance. It is really important we tell someone how we feel and get the right help so that we can grow in knowledge and confidence. If possible speak to a trusted teacher, a parent, family member, carer, or youth worker about school/college difficulties. If you do not feel you have anyone to turn to please take a look at the agencies and charities listed below. You have the right to a good education but you also have the responsibility to share you concerns and ask for help.
During time and school or college we are asked to make important decisions that impact on our future study and career choices. Selecting GCSEs, A-Levels, or vocational courses and thinking about what we do when we leave school or college can be daunting. Because of this it is vital you consider carefully all the options available, talking options over with a careers advisor is a first step in making a good decision and this service should be available through school or college. If you do not know how to contact your careers advisor ask a teacher to find out more and arrange an appointment. If you feel some options are closed to you (such as going to university) because of financial pressures and responsibilities, these too should be shared with a teacher, careers advisor, youth worker or even an advisor from one of the agencies listed below. They can help you find and apply for grants, bursaries (scholarships), and other funding streams that may be available depending on what you wish to study or train to be.
For young people looking for work, either part time alongside study or full time employment, the prospects for finding a job can be bleak, but there are ways to break into the job market. Preparing a good CV and cover letter, completing successfully a professional application form, learning winning interview techniques, are all ways to enhance chances of success and can be developed through working with careers advisors at school, college, local job clubs, your local job centre or by visiting one of the sites listed below:
www.childline.org.uk/Explore/SchoolCollege/Pages/School.aspx – very good advice and ability to contact support worker by telephone, email, or text
www.youngminds.org.uk – advice on handling stress and sadness
www.termtime.com – the unofficial guide to surviving high school
www.direct.gov.uk/en/EducationAndLearning/
www.princes-trust.org.uk – provides help for those unemployed, struggling at school, been in trouble with the law, or have been in care.
www.ansbury.co.uk – delivers local careers advice and guidance to young people and adults
www.apprenticeships.org.uk – very good website providing up to date information and advice on types of apprenticeships, local opportunities and how to apply.
www.jobseekersdirect.gov.uk – local and national job search site, also contains advice on seeking employment.
www.nationalcareersservice.direct.gov.uk – informative website with tips and advice on finding work